I’ve been paying rapt attention to the journey of designer/journalist Chris Courtney.  He’s fighting a battle bigger than the ones we fight against agencies refusing to hand over document, journalists stuck in an old mindset, people too bored by media to become informed.  He’s fighting cancer.

We don’t know each other, Chris, but I’ve followed your work, and I’ve been meaning to introduce myself.  I can’t help but feel connected to you, though.  Reading your thoughts reminds me of my own similar journey. And having spent the day arguing with Javascript functions, and wanting to punch them in their metaphorical faces, it’s easy to forget there was a time when I had much bigger issues.  Life-threatening illnesses have a way of clarifying things.

Reading Chris’ thoughts reminds me of a time in my own life I don’t talk much about, but I don’t avoid it either.  Back in 2002, I was diagnosed with IgA Nephropathy, an illness that caused my immune system to attack my kidneys as if they were foreign, resulting in kidney failure, and ultimately a transplant in 2006, which I received from my dear aunt Karen Kwan.  More background on this in a Medill article I wrote when I returned to UIC as a journalist: This time, it’s not my kidney

For too many days to count, it was the focus of my life.  Tends to happen when you don’t have the energy to move, or even write.  And you wouldn’t know it now, other than the fact that the experience forces me to examine each day and ask myself what I did with the gift of life.

I suppose this is a letter to Chris more than anything. I’m heartened to see your positive attitude.  I believe that’s what enables people to get through situations like this.  Also key — a great network of support from friends and family.  Don’t be afraid to come to them for anything you might need, help making a meal, advice, or what I found most helpful — a friendly ear ready to listen.

I applauded out loud when I read your dismissal of flowery get-well cards that could just as easily be expressing thoughts of sympathy.  I mean, come on, I tell my editor when I don’t agree with him, I argue with sources all the time.  And the stories my parents can tell you about when I was a teenager, okay, yesterday.  So, kidney failure, cancer, whatever you are.  You think you can scare me?  Hit me with your best shot.

These sorts of illnesses have a way of giving you life clarity.  Chris explains that the only thing > than cancer is death.  But “My team losing < Cancer.”  Absolutely true. I find this to be a double-edged sword.  I value everything in life a lot more.  I care a little bit, no, a lot, less that your boyfriend broke up with you.  Because, you see, I could respond to it all saying “Try living with kidney failure.  Do you like how you have the strength to stand? That’s not a guarantee.”  Looking at life that way gets quite tiring, though.  But ultimately it’s another feather, and a big one, in your cap of life experience.

And Chris, I couldn’t agree with you more about being too young for all this. Take it from the girl who went to a session on post-kidney-failure options at Northwestern Memorial and passed out after looking at all the “old people.”  Only time I passed out in my life, by the way.  Oh, except for when I was five, and that tall guy kicked the soccer ball into my head.  </michellesathleticcareer>  Point is, you look around.  And you’re not supposed to be in that hospital, you’re not supposed to be bailing on your friends cause you’re tired.  But that’s what life’s thrown at you.  You discover your true friends, discover what’s important.  And by the way, when are you old enough to get sick?  I have some relatives in their 80s who would tell you they’re too young to get sick.  And that attitude, I argue, is part of what keeps them out of the hospital.

Yeah, hospitals suck.  What do you mean I can’t take my phone into the operating room?  What’s your wireless access code?  My story: the nurses eventually told me I could use the Internet on the nurses’ station computer if I did a lap around the floor.  The 180 seconds they alloted me was less than I use in a 10-minute window on a routine basis.  When I was well enough that the tech situation really bugged me, it was time to go home.  And in the meantime, I grew to appreciate my friends and family more than ever.  And did a lot of thinking and contemplating. We don’t make time for that in our workaday lives.  When you’re forced to slow down, things seem a bit different.

As a journalist, the process is fascinating.  You have your own window onto the beat of your medical condition.  I can tell you all about kidneys now.  And I follow future developments in the field like it’s my job.  Because someday my transplanted kidney will fail.  The medication we take to protect a transplant also contains ingredients that destroy kidneys over time.  And this time, I probably won’t get a donation without going on dialysis.  But that’s no reason to give up.  Only a reason to press on in the present!

Don’t get me wrong, dealing with this sort of thing is all horribly unpleasant, unbearable at times.  But your support system and your optimism will aid you in giving your nemesis your best shot.  And that’s all you can ask of yourself.

I would never say everything’s going to be okay, to anyone going through this sort of thing.  I hated when people told me that.  Show me the data on that one, how can you tell the future?  But I do believe you’ve got a better shot if you kick, scream and fight against it with all your might.  That’s why journalists are so well prepared to fight these sort of battles.  It’s what we do every day.

And as for my life now? Well, I’m behind you 1000 percent.  And I’ll be watching, Chris.  And thinking of you.  Take cancer down.  If you happen to see the UIC chief of surgery, Enrico Benedetti, say hello to my dear friend, who was head of the transplant team when I was there in 2006.  And if you need anything at all, you know where to find me.  But I won’t be sending any flowery cards, electronic, handwritten or otherwise.

And when you’re not too busy fighting the fight, and relishing the extra time with your family and friends, we need you here in the journo world.  After all, cancer or no cancer, kidney failure or no kidney failure, there’s work to be done.

Explore other posts:

• March 25, 2010 -- Self-teaching data and programming skills
• February 17, 2011 -- An inside look at life at PBS News
• January 1, 2011 -- Looking back on a year: What now?
• June 5, 2010 -- J-school: It’s relevant but demands you take charge
• February 1, 2010 -- Relating zip codes and geography using Processing
• May 24, 2011 -- Oh, hi, blog readers — it’s been a while!

The study says that the greatest issue journalists have is a lack of time.  Study stories replace the issues, as editors push for quick turnarounds.  This prevents journalists from doing in-depth analysis and taking the time to contextualize the story.  And it’s all very easy to sit in a classroom, or typing at a keyboard, and say that journalists should go more in-depth, but as we push for faster news, how do we get this done?

I would imagine magazine writers have more time than newspaper writers.  But for the next ten weeks, I have been given more time than any of that.  In one of my classes this quarter, the whole point is to do in-depth stories, tell the untold — health and science information that people need.  I hadn’t realized what a true gift this course was, until I recognized that it is, in its essence, what the majority of journalists cite as a serious problem in their work environment today.  And then, after the ten weeks, on to the normal journalism schedule.  I may not have time to do these type of stories again, but I’ll have the skills.  Couple with that a smattering of passion, and obsessive dedication with some of us youngsters, and maybe we can make up for in gumption what we don’t have in experience.

My main challenge for this quarter is to convey these stories in not only comprehensible ways, but interesting ways.  I plan on using animations, videos, charts, to make that happen.  And lots of buttons for people to press, I know I’m always more likely to click through something when I do at my rate.

Explore other posts:

• February 28, 2011 -- Why I really love NICAR (and the New York Times)
• January 25, 2010 -- Personal reflection: Tufte’s messing with my head
• March 29, 2010 -- Using Javascript for interactive Google charts
• January 18, 2010 -- Collaborating with computers to parse “big data”
• February 15, 2010 -- Data Delver: Lisa Pickoff-White, California Watch
• April 7, 2010 -- Columbia’s new joint MS: Good start, but no panacea